| condiment request turns ugly |
 Remember that ridiculous commercial with the 2 geezers in Bentley’s, and one pulls up to the other and asks “Would you have any Grey Poupon?” It was hilarious in its stupidity. And of course we all made fun of it until it turned from way funny to way annoying.
Apparently Stephen Cox (hehe) of Sandy, UT didn’t get that particular memo. On June 18th in Murray UT (also the home of has-been David Archuleta), a motorist, who, after getting the driver next to him to roll down his window, asked "Excuse me, sir, do you have any Grey Poupon?"
Upon hearing the request for said condiment, the 22-year-old driver, Vitaly Kovtun, pulled a handgun from his glove compartment, cocked the weapon and pointed it at the three people in the other car. He then added "Here's your Grey Poupon - roll your fucking windows up!"
Nothing says “Shut your God-damn pie hole idiot” like a gun in the face. Police later found the man, who admitted his long-time hatred of Dijon mustard. He was booked for aggravated assault, but received high praise for scaring the shit out of a couple assholes.Labels: grey poupon, moron, traffic dispute |
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| Dark Knight inspires dark tragedy |
Mondays are a generally slow night in the peaceful hamlet of Three Rivers, MI.
Last Monday however, that peace was woefully shattered by a grisly wake-up call from infamous villain, “The Joker”. The town will never be the same.
Apparently, 20-year old Spencer Taylor thought last Monday would be the perfect opportunity to break out his new “Joker” costume, and wreak havoc on the local movie theater. In his green wig, fancy purple suit, and his face painted as his favorite  comic book character (aaawwwww), Mr. Taylor tried to steal movie posters and generally “bust up the place”.
Sadly for Taylor, the 16 year-old girl at the ticket counter felt enough was enough, and restrained him until police arrived. “He kicked and screamed and cried”, said Candy Dofino, “I really felt sorry for the little guy.”
That last part I made up, but I think it’s a funny visual.
Anyhoo, Mr. Taylor has been booked for investigation of larceny and malicious destruction of property. Sorry kid, maybe next time. They may take your freedom, but they can never take your dreams.Labels: batman, humor, idiot, the joker |
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| The Pringle - neither a potato nor a chip. |
Boy do I feel stupid. According to a British judge, Pringles are not in fact potato chips. Apparently, they are something “else”, which as of yet remains undefined. Here is an excerpt of the news article which shattered my long held beliefs about Pringles:
 “Pringles don't fulfill the legal definition of "potato crisp," allowing them to be sold tax-free in Britain. Under law, most food is exempt from the 17.5% sales tax. The national tax office claimed that Pringles were covered by an exception for products such as potato chips, sticks or puffs.
Procter & Gamble maintains that the snack isn't a chip because it is cooked from baked dough, not potato slices. Potato chips "give a sharply crunchy sensation under the tooth and have to be broken down into jagged pieces when chewed," said P&G's lawyer. "It is totally different with a Pringle, indeed a Pringle is designed to melt down on the tongue." The judge agreed. "Pringles aren't "made from the potato" for the purposes of the tax exemption," he said. He didn't say what Pringles are, other than that they're tax-exempt.
So as it turns out, Pringles aren’t made from potatoes – they’re made from baked dough. I feel completely bamboozled. I do however feel much more informed after reading the definition of a potato chip vs. a Pringle - Potato chips "give a sharply crunchy sensation under the tooth and have to be broken down into jagged pieces when chewed," and "It is totally different with a Pringle, indeed a Pringle is designed to melt down on the tongue." Indeed. There are many other things that give a sharp crunchy sensation under the tooth, not all of them good.
And then this – “He didn't say what Pringles are, other than that they're tax-exempt.” Excuse me? You don’t know what they are? Unfortunately, this revelation has forced me to rethink the Pringle as one of my favorite snacks, due to its increasingly shady provenance in the junk food community.Labels: humor, news, potato chip, pringle |
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posted by Jean at 
