Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Dark Knight inspires dark tragedy
Mondays are a generally slow night in the peaceful hamlet of Three Rivers, MI.
Last Monday however, that peace was woefully shattered by a grisly wake-up call from infamous villain, “The Joker”. The town will never be the same.

Apparently, 20-year old Spencer Taylor thought last Monday would be the perfect opportunity to break out his new “Joker” costume, and wreak havoc on the local movie theater. In his green wig, fancy purple suit, and his face painted as his favorite comic book character (aaawwwww), Mr. Taylor tried to steal movie posters and generally “bust up the place”.

Sadly for Taylor, the 16 year-old girl at the ticket counter felt enough was enough, and restrained him until police arrived. “He kicked and screamed and cried”, said Candy Dofino, “I really felt sorry for the little guy.”

That last part I made up, but I think it’s a funny visual.

Anyhoo, Mr. Taylor has been booked for investigation of larceny and malicious destruction of property. Sorry kid, maybe next time. They may take your freedom, but they can never take your dreams.

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posted by Jean at 11:54 AM - 0 comments
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tatum O'Neil "rescued"
Oh Tatum. You can’t take here anywhere! Because apparently she is drawn to homeless drug dealers who want to sell her coke.

What kills me is the ridiculous crap she was spewing trying to squirm her way out of it. First she tried telling the cops who she was, in an effort to use her lackluster star power to get a break. Then she says she was researching a role. Right.

Then she says the death of her dog prompted her to go out looking for drugs. Is that the best she’s got?

Then she goes on “The Early Show” and says that the police officers who arrested her for drug possession actually “rescued” her. What does that mean? She was saved from buying over-cut blow? According to her however, without the cops, she may gone further down the spiral. I think that ship has sailed.

The local bartender was quoted as saying "It doesn't seem like something you would do if you did not want to get caught. Why would she go on the street to score like that?" Well, at least she’s got the local bartender vouching for her. That should go a long way in court.

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posted by Jean at 8:45 AM - 0 comments


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